(male voice, speaking:
I am Alexender the Swoose, and I am so confused.)
Mother, mother Goose, why am I not like other goose
The other gese all laugh at me
And call me a catastrophe
Swoose, Swoose, Alexander is a Goose
Swoose, Swoose, Alexander is a Goose
Half swan, half goose
Alexander is a Goose
Whenever they play hide and seek
I hide my head cause I'm a freak
They say my pappy was a swan,
A good for nothing vagabond.
woose, Swoose, Alexander is a Goose
Swoose, Swoose, Alexander is a Goose
Big beak, big feet
Alexander is a freak
They're so unkind but I don't mind their slander
I'm just disturbed because I heard
They're gonna cook my goose and gander
I guess I'll have to run away
I know what they'll do if I stay
I'd rather be a refugee
Instead of chicken fricasee
(male voice, speaking:
I don't know now Doris, maybe you can tell me what a swoose is)
Now you just listen to me and I'll tell ya:
Alexander the Swoose is a composite bird
Faintly resembling Mortimer Snerd
And bold Donald Duck, Only very much grander
For he isn't a dummy, a drake, or a gander.
He's old for his age, and small for his size,
Has Garbo's big feet and Cantor's big eyes
The beak of Durante, the mouth of Joe Brown
And a Harpo Marx wig made of pink eiderdown.
Rochester's voice, the curves of Mae West
And the Stars and Stripes tatooed on his chest.
